Saturday, March 25, 2006

i feel super super tired now ... the 3 and half hours of physics make up lecture really killed me ... normally on every sat night i will be very energetic ... this is the only time i could do whatever i wan to do ... so normally i will stay up until 3 or 4 am the next morning ... serve internet ... play xbox ... or just sit in front of the television and doing nothing ... i think its the best time for me ... no one would disturb me ... and the whole world seems so quiet ... i could immerse into my own world which no one could enter ... its also the time when i can actually relax myself and see what i have done over the whole week ... sometimes i found that my brain works very clearly in the midnight ... not in study ... but in some thinking ... i will recall something that i may totally forget and will also realise something that i did wrongly ... MORE IMPORTANTLY in the whole process , i dont need to talk at all ... i need not to say a single word ... and that is me ... many ppl said i m very active and also talkative ... always talk craps and saying lame jokes ... however , i don really like to talk ... instead i will prefer thinking ... why ? coz the things u talk normally come from ur brain ... but the things u think r coming from u heart ... although it sounds a bit weird ... maybe i m weird ... but i think the things came out from ur mouth may not be what u thought ... before u say anything , u will think abt it ... whether its convenient to say ... should i put in a nicer way ... will my words have effects on somebody ... these thoughts r good ... but sometimes ppl will decide to say something that is not true or not so nice due to some unstated reasons ... thats where the rumours , gossip and secrets take place ... ppl 's talking become very worthless ... but the very first thing comes into ur mind is ur true feelings ... just like u will feel the pain when someone hit u ... but after that u decide to change it and rephrase it ... and it becomes ur words ... maybe i m wrong ... but who knows ... i also did the same thing ... sometimes i will be cheated and myself also ... coz i will keep telling myself the thing which is not true but i have said it to ppl ... so after sometimes it will become true ... thats very tragic ... ok i think enough of nonsense ... lets get back to my topic ... so i will try to think things very carefully ... do not be affected by any factors ... i will be able to find out my true feelings ... so lets enjoy the night .
sorry to all my frens , i think u wil be very confused after reading my entry ... maybe think i m kinda "xiao" person ... i also don understand what am i writing ... don really understand myself ... BUT ... who really understand themselves well ? :)

counted snowflakes at 10:30 PM

Profile

caoyang
25
31/8/1987
Dream: TV programmes producer
Goal: Independent Financial Advicer
christ church sec
class 4E4 (BEST!)
st. andrew jc(PAE)
OG 7&CG 22 (RAWK!)
pioneer jc(PREVIOUSLY)
Philby&OG 30(CAN U FEEL ME!)
NUS Fass and Sheares Hall
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